Problems

Out for a stroll chanced upon the devil
I said whaddayou know the original rebel
Have to say he'd seen better days
Nodded to me slowly and adjusted his shades

Everyone knows that I'm a collector
Billions of souls not counting defectors
Business is booming but it's wearing me out
Thinking bout letting go cause what's it all about

All I hear are gripes and complaints
It ain't what they got just what they ain't
The fuel bill for the lake of fire
It never goes down only keeps going higher

Struck a match with his thumbnail
Arched one eyebrow and twitched his forked tail
I'll spruce things up then get out from under
There's got to be something more than pillage and plunder

(chorus)
It don't matter If you come from money
It don't matter if you're a star
It don't matter if you're a king
Yer gonna have problems no matter who you are

Met Jesus shuffling on water
Muttering something all about his father
Met Jesus chugging some wine
Telling me he felt at the end of the line

Said, i'm so tired of being perfect
I'm so tired of being so strict
Gonna cut my hair and try a new style
I'm gonna ditch these funky sandals and run a little wild

See, heaven ain't cool and heaven ain't fun
The suicide bombers are demanding refunds
All the saints curry special favours
And I'm up to my eyeballs in hungry alligators

Betrayed by Judas nailed to a cross
Like everybody knows I'm not the real boss
I wanna take my name in vain
Cause no one listens to a goddamn thing I say

(chorus - swapping king for queen)
It don't matter If you come from money
It don't matter if you're a star
It don't matter if you're a queen
Yer gonna have problems no matter who you are

Got together over a coffee
The hellion holy one and little ol me
Try a merger and work together
You're competing for souls but this would be better

Fresh blood some new ideas
Hard work not a panacea
Heaven or hell with nothing in between
What folks want is a taste of both scenes

(Chorus swapping queen for prince)

See it don't matter If you come from money
It don't matter if you're a star
It don't matter if you're a prince
Yer gonna have problems no matter who you are

Hell could be a wild vacation
Vegas on steroids and a crazy destination
Chuck the harps relax the dress codes
Electric guitars with all the comforts of home

Yes the ideas started flying thick and fast
Each new one was better than the last
Both of them feeling refreshed and revived
They had quite a lot in common and laughed at all the lies

(chorus - swapping prince for king)

See it don't matter If you come from money
It don't matter if you're a star
It don't matter if you're a king
Yer gonna have problems no matter who you are

Count on it
It's what you do about em that counts
Even if you are a Count
Or a King, or Stephen King
Queen Elizabeth or Prince
Think Sir Lancelot had it easy
Think again bub
Tough Gig